Poopwatch is a secret society of wizards whose magic is derived from Poop Cola, which is in fact concentrated energy which enables the drinker control over aspects of the universe. The members of Poopwatch have protected this secret for centuries, since long before Poop was supposedly invented in the 1920s, and fight those who would use it for evil. Their magic apparently works by guzzling some Poop, saying a rhyme, and then belching.
Dib first becomes aware of Poopwatch's existence in Issue 29, when he tracks down a bottle of limited edition Darkpoop flavor Poop for his sister, to replace one of hers which he accidentally spilled. He finally finds and buys a new one, only to be attacked by the dark wizard Nightnubs, and then rescued by Poopwatch member Fizzmitz, who drives Nightnubs off, though not before he successfully steals the Darkpoop from Dib. Afterwards, Dib demands an explanation, and is escorted to Poopwatch's secret underground base and told the true nature of Poop Cola. He's skeptical, but then Poopwatch's seer, Fizzusan, is overwhelmed by trying to track down the Darkpoop, and Dib is chosen to replace her due to having actually touched it. After drinking many different types of Poop, he has a sugar rush-induced vision, which reveals that Nightnubs is planning to summon the monstrous Poopthulhu and destroy the world.
In Issue 30, Poopwatch confirms Dib's vision with the aid of Future Cow, a cow which has visions of the future. Fizzmitz then assembles a team of Poopwatch members to attack Nightnubs' lair and stop him from summoning Poopthulhu, while Dib goes to Zim's base to retrieve some Darkpoop from the large amount which he learned of GIR buying in the previous issue, which can be used to defeat Poopthulhu if it is summoned. However, Dib spends so much time trying to convince Zim to give him a bottle that Poopwatch has to fight Nightnubs and Poopthulhu without it, ultimately coming up with another plan. When Dib finally shows up, Poopwatch has won but has been beaten up in the process, so an angry Fizzmitz kicks him out of the group.
- Fizzmitz - apparent leader.
- Fizzusan - seer.
- Future Cow - cow which sees the future.
- Boomfingers - specialist in boom magic/part time DJ.
- Knees O'Fury - shoots angry magic from her knees.
- The Iron Face - master of protection magic.
- Mystic Marsha - can river dance sideways in reality.
- Creme Lightning - bender of lightning and non-dairy toppings.
- Dib Membrane - temporary member, inducted as replacement seer in Issue 29 and kicked out in Issue 30.
Facts of Doom
- As Dib notes in Issue 29, all members seem to wear fake beards. Oddly, he doesn't wear one himself during his short tenure as a member. Given Fizzmitz's glib treatment of him until he reveals he can retrieve some Darkpoop, it's possible Dib was never actually a member and just assumed he was.